Tattoo Your Baldness Away

This article was originally published on Ricochet.


My brother and I spent much of our high school years worrying. Our primary source of anxiety wasn’t grades, athletics or dating, but something our father casually mentioned to us: “You know, I started going bald my senior year.”

Dad had been bald as long as we’d been alive. Despite his valiant efforts with Trumpian combovers, epoxy-strength hair spray and creative headwear, it was obvious his hairline was in a losing battle with time. My brother and I didn’t want to go out like that. So we studiously checked our scalps for any sign of this bleak paternal inheritance, starting our freshman year.

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Mercifully, we evaded Dad’s fate, but we spent plenty of time wondering how we’d handle baldness. I’d probably just shave the whole thing off, but maybe I could soak my head in a vat of Rogaine or buy a can of blondish Krylon. Today, guys have a new option — the hair tattoo:

Matt thought about plugs or transplants, but didn’t like how expensive or invasive they were. Then about six months ago he went into Scalp Aesthetics in Scottsdale and had hair basically tattooed on his head.

“There are spots on your head that are more sensitive than others,” Matt [Reid] said, “but overall it’s not bad.”

Bryce Cleveland knows. He owns the company, created the ink and needle and had the process done on himself a decade ago.

“I was 19 and my life was just…I couldn’t go out,” Reid said. “I had to wear a hat. I was always trying to cover up my bald spot.”

So he shaved his head and filled in the gaps with what’s called micro pigmentation.

635596979926855072-beforeMatt provided a nice before-and-after shot of his new tatt. Looks pretty realistic from here, even if it doesn’t create the long, flowing locks of a Troy Polamalu.

To be fair, balding doesn’t seem to be the issue it was when I was a kid. Even guys with lots of hair shave it off to look cool and eliminate the hassle of maintaining it. Add a heavy beard and a few strategic piercings, and you’ll star in every other ad on TV.

I’m sure we have several follicularly challenged commenters on site. Would you consider a hair tattoo option or do you prefer another strategy?